Hey. This is the first entry of what I hope to be many and continue to grow in the years to come. This may not be the platform, nor domain, that I plan to stick to for my ever-so-entertaining entries, but for the time being this is suitable. I am fairly new to the world of blogging and have as much experience as a communications major with a minor in journalism (with the help of a handful of YouTube videos) can have. I feel as though a proper introduction is in order.
I am a guy in his early twenties looking to put forth my passion for writing and discussion to good use. The idea of me starting a blog started back in the summer of 2018. I had always felt like I had a lot to say with very few opportunities to share without sounding like a weirdo. There would be times where I would talk to friends on the phone or in person about something I read on Twitter or some random video I came across on YouTube and as good friends and family do, they listened. In their heads I imagined they were thinking “this might be interesting, but what prompted him to think of this?”
Going back to the summer of 2018… I was lost. It had been a year since graduating high school, seeing all of my closest friends everyday, hanging out with them after class, going to the school dances, and working nearly every day of the week while simultaneously juggling a heavy classwork load. I loved having the company. I like to think of myself as a social person and I love hearing what is going on in everyone’s day. Well, after high school and the summer following everything changed and not in the best way. I had a very tightly knit group of friends that hung out nearly every single day. I would say halfway through summer two of my closest friends went off to join the military. Even though I still loved every minute spent with my other friends, a bit of myself suffered. These two guys had no access to their phones and very little contact in general outside of letters. This was where my life started turning.
While being independent isn’t hard for me, I had gone from seemingly having no friends, to having this tight group, to by the point of summer 2018 having lost steady contact with most of them. This was a hard reality for me to grasp or want to accept. While I still had people to talk to the communication had gotten to an all-time low. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I really began to neglect my health and spirituality. I started gaining weight, became a bit socially awkward, and truthfully a little sensitive.
I think back to the first day I started community college. I had finished my first class and went to the student center to grab something to eat. I realized I had to charge my phone so I had gone to a small charging station that resided between two small chairs. There were multiple chairs surrounding at a distance, but none close enough to stay put on my phone while it was charging. I plopped down into the chair, plugged in my phone, and started looking at where my next class was for the day. The girl that was sitting on the opposite side gave me a small, but noticeable dirty look. I thought, man what did I do to offend her. So I did what I am good at and made some stupid, but inoffensive joke about invading her personal space. She said something along the lines of “this f*cking kid” and then left. “That was weird”, I thought. I brushed it off and went to class.
My next class was a business course back when I thought I was going to be a marketing major (story for a different day). The day was about as basic as syllabus days go, the teacher walked us through the curriculum and then conducted the dreaded ice-breaker activity. We were all sectioned off into groups based on where we were sitting and were instructed to interview each other in this small group. My group gathered together, looking lifeless and drab hunched over their desks. I started to introduce myself and got out my piece of paper to take notes about the others when this dude speaks up and says “Let’s be honest we’re just here to sit and then leave. Wanna just bullsh*t this?” Everyone else was quick to agree. I sat shook. Is this what college really is like? Well, both yes and no.
The two years I spent at community college were hell. The conversation skills and friendliness of everyone there were less than admirable. I tried multiple times to make efforts to be the outgoing guy that I was in high school and just never paid off. I felt defeated and fell into a VERY deep slump. I’ve said this multiple times to my close friends and family, 2018 was and still is the worst year of my life. I felt like my world was crumbling around me and didn’t know how to handle it. I tried to reach out to old friends, tried to go about life differently, and even did a free week of online therapy. I just was losing myself fast and I didn’t know what to do.
That’s when the idea of this blog came up first. I felt as though I was speaking into the void with no one to listen. I thought well if I made a blog it’d be some outlet for me to get whatever it was off of my chest. A healthy one at least. It seemed like week after week I told myself that I would make this blog and just lacked the motivation. This continued into about summer of 2019 when I finally woke up. I realized that I didn’t need to depend on everyone else around me to be happy and that my feelings are more important than what I could do for others. I was a “people pleaser” and couldn’t stand up for myself and I realized one day how stupid that was. I needed to speak my mind more. There would be times where I would share my writing with close friends, a Facebook post, or when giving advice and someone would say “why don’t you write more” or “why aren’t you a journalism major?” These thoughts really struck a chord for me.
Flash-Forward to orientation for NIU. I was ready to take on the next chapter of my life and leave the negative aspects behind. The meeting my mom and I attended prior to the small tour given for the specific majors said that if we wanted to declare our minors that now was the time to do so. Once communications was called I stood up and started to walk, stopped and thought “why am I not going into journalism?!” So I turned around and asked my mom, “Is it okay if I minor in journalism?” She was very motivating and encouraging and that was the big first step I had to take on the long quest to start this blog.
I adored my journalism courses my first semester and could not have been prouder of my choice. It wasn’t until this semester that I finally came up with the money and willingness to take time to write this blog, The Art of Vibing. The title might change eventually, it was made from a word generator site and sounded suitable. As for now that is the very long story of the origins behind the blog.
Not all my posts will be this lengthy, but I felt an introduction was in order. Hopefully this was mildly interesting enough to follow my life in the future!